We are leaving tomorrow.
We are going to the other coast of Florida for a few days to see my mother.
Not really my choice. My mother kept saying how we had to leave, how I have “done my duty” and it is “time to leave” and how now we have to come see them.
I am really not ready to leave nor do I really want to spend four days at my mom’s.
Yet I am.
I do everything to make everyone else happy.
One day, I will grow up and do something just for me.
I’ll let you all know when.
Being here has made me realize all over again how very important my mother-in-law and brother-in-law are to me.
I love them so, so SO much!
I always have.
I don’t want to leave them again.
I have the BEST time with my brother-in-law.
I’ve known them for 30 years! More time than I don’t know them! Damn, son!
I NEED to move back here.
Ok, first this.
My mother-in-law has come through the surgery and is in a good deal of pain but has finally been moved from ICU to a regular room.
She has been suffering from “ICU Psychosis” which is pretty fucked up. She has been hallucinating that the nurses are trying to kidnap her and poison her and shit. I understand this is a common thing from being in one place all day with no windows and having sleep deprivation and constant monitoring and all that.
She is starting to be a little better now. Every once in a while she says messed up stuff but it is getting better.
I don’t know when we are going home. We actually don’t want to. Well, all of us but my oldest daughter.
More later. I am about to take the girls out.
I just found out that my mother-in-law was just diagnosed with cancer and has to have a major operation to have it removed.
I call her my mother-in-law to describer her relationship to people. That’s confusing enough. Technically, she is my first ex-mother in law, but she has always been in my life and has always been a very dear person to me and to my girls, even to to the one that is not related to her.
So, anyway, my mother-in-law, whom I just call “Mom” or “Ma”, is very sick. She’s been very sick for a while now, since she had a heart attack like 7 years ago. That was the last time I saw her. And it sucks that the next time I am able to see her is under similar circumstances. I had every intention to move my kids there, soon. I still do. I hope she is ok. Maybe this will be an intervention. Maybe this will help?
So, me and the girls are probably flying out to see her in a couple of days. We don’t know how long we are going to stay. I don’t know know how long she will need at least me and I don’t want to leave my little one here alone with the GF, so if I need to stay, I will send back at least one of my girls with the little one. That is if I can’t convince the school district that she needs to stay with me because I need to take care of my sick mother in law.
So, that’s what’s going on right now. Never dull. I am sick over Mom. I am not ready to lose her. I wanted to spend some time with her. I wanted her to enjoy the girls.
Things I am tired of
1) Making plans and then being disappointed because they don’t happen
I was like, wow, quiet day today. She isn’t texting me incessantly.
For a fucking change. WTF????
So, I had gotten some good news and figured I would share it with her.
(about services for my older daughter)
So I text her.
And then I hear her phone go off on her night stand.
Well, that explains it.
Good for me!